8 Things You Should Know About Having Sex With Your Ex

Publish date: 2024-06-09

Similar to ending that over-idealization, sex with your ex might help you get the closure. It is, in some ways, like tying up loose ends.

"It’s easier to romanticize your ex and the relationship in those moments. Sex with your ex can help reveal why you chose to remain apart," Silva says.

It may come down to a cost-benefit analysis, Morley explains. Pursuing an ex for orgasms or closure isn’t a bad thing on its face, but you should do so understanding that time spent with an ex is also time spent away from friends, family, and pursuing other relationships. Essentially, she explains, you want to make sure you’re not giving up something you’ll later regret.

“You need to go into it without blinders on. Whatever choice you decide to make, have your eyes wide open, know all the information, and have fun,” she says.

Studies:

Spielmann SS, Joel S, Impett EA. Pursuing Sex with an Ex: Does It Hinder Breakup Recovery? Arch Sex Behav. 2019 Apr;48(3):691-702. doi: 10.1007/s10508-018-1268-6. Epub 2018 Oct 17. PMID: 30334130.

Experts:

Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and relationship coach

Isabelle Morley, PsyD

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